Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
