it wasn't lemon gatorade
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
