its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
