he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
