Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
