I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize