no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
