How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
