I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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