sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
