i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
