God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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