yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize