went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
