Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
