Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize