i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize