eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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