I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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