Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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