their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
