first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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