one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
