If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
