Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
