hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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