He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
