so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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