There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
