Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
