Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Randomize
