we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
