I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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