Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
