I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
