belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
