dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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