I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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