I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
