I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
