so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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