A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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