I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
