Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
