so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
