he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
