Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
