I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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