Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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