This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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