dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
