Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
