It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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