Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
