no, he came in my armpit
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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