absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
