I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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